September 7, 2010

What's Your Pain Threshold?

 Criticism is something we can avoid simply by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. ~Aristotle

I was doing a little blog-hopping-- only a little because I've spent every ounce of energy I have and my bed is calling me... "Kristaaaaaa, Kristaaaaaa, I'm warm and deep with three inches of memory foam softnessssss..."
What was I doing? Oh yeah, the blog.

I saw the wonderful ladies at Writing on the Wall had a new post here. Julie Wright shared her thoughts on the pain of critique and bearing it better if we took some pain meds beforehand, or, actually, maybe we would submit more if we knew it wouldn't hurt so much. It's a sweet boost, so go read it. But come back here.

Because I was thinking about pain and what it can do. Paralyze us? Make us grit our teeth and bear it?

About 16 1/2 years ago a car going 65 mph hit my stopped car from behind. Didn't see us at all. Mine and my baby's survival was a miracle. Because of her car seat, my little girl was frightened, but perfect. I walked away, however, with severe muscle tissue damage in my lower back. I'm in some level of pain every hour of every day. People compliment me on my excellent posture. The truth is, if I slouch, the pain meter spikes quickly. I try to avoid that.

It's like walking around with a knife stuck in my back. When it gets worse, someone is twisting the knife. Every hour of every day. I fought depression. I won.

Then a few years later, my marriage nearly fell apart.

We sucked it up. We made it through. We fell in love again.

And then we lost a child. 

It's a risk, as writers, putting ourselves out there. It could hurt. It could help. Use what's given, find what works, make the changes, meet halfway, follow your gut, scrap the rest.

I keep submitting, because critiques and rejections are tough, but I know some things hurt more.

I can handle it. So can you.


David J. West said...

Krista you're an inspiration-great post.

Clarissa Draper said...

Wow, what tragedy you experienced and what strength you've showed. You're an example for us all.


Krista said...

Thanks, David. It kind of goes with your Chuck Norris post. ;D

Clarissa, we all go through stuff. Thanks.

ali said...

Oh man. Way to put it all into perspective Krista. Yes, rejection hurts, but so many things hurt more. Love that.

So sorry about your little girl. ((hugs))

C. K. Bryant said...

We've had a similar battle, right down to the lost child, car accident and almost failed marriage. And you're right. We are strong women and can handle whatever is dished out. Thanks for the inspiring words.

Krista said...

Thanks, Ali. *hugs back*

CK, you just never know who is battling what.

Thanks for your comments.

Annette Lyon said...

Wow. Like you said, you never know what someone else is going through/has gone through.

I had no idea (obviously). Thanks for sharing this part of yourself.

A.L. Sonnichsen said...

Krista, I'm so sorry for your loss. I came by to tell you that you won some chocolate on my blog, but now I just feel like curling up on the sofa and crying for awhile. You're absolutely right, we have to keep this writing thing we do in perspective. It's definitely not the most important thing we do, and rejection isn't the most painful thing we will have to endure in life, either. Thanks for helping me wrap my mind around that a little more. And thanks so much for taking the time to share this part of your life on your blog. Now off to grab a handful of tissues.


Krista said...

Annette, I really do hope we get to know one another better someday.

Amy, thank you so much and I'm sorry I made you sad! My next post will be livelier, I promise. These things, trials, have just become a part of who I am and help define what I am capable of. Aside from the trials, I have a very blessed life!

Now, what were saying about some chocolate?

ali said...

Hey Krista! I gave you a gift on my blog today!

Kimberly said...

This was beautiful...and I'm blinking back tears here.

Chas Hathaway said...

Very touching post. Thanks for sharing it. Sometimes that "follow your gut" thing is especially hard, because what you feel like you need to do goes against much of what people tell you to do with your writing.

I've heard it said that all the stuff that keeps us from writing is the stuff that gives us something to write about. I think that makes sense, because it's the challenges, trials, and suffering we experience in life that gives us the depth of soul to be able to write in a way that will touch others deeply, and change their lives.

Thanks again for sharing!

Shelli said...

Just catching up on your blog. Beautiful post Kris. Wise words. Touching picture. No one has an easy life, but you are right, it makes us stronger. You inspire! :)

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