With All My Heart is out! Triple the Romance Countdown Contest: 2

This one is SO FUN! Anita Stansfield. Sheryl C.S. Johnson. Me. Want a teaser? Okay, I'll give you a teaser. From HANGING BY A MOMENT, as Kendal returns from the ladies room:

      Lila turned, saw Kendal approaching, and smiled. Big. She thumbed toward a figure in a ball cap pulling a huge duffel off the conveyor. He reached again for some kind of bulky equipment wrapped in a tarp and duct tape. His T-shirt fit him well. Really well. Nice tan. Nice . . . but it wasn’t like Lila to check out guys at an airport.

      Kendal raised her eyebrows at Lila in question, but when the guy settled his luggage and tugged off his ball cap, revealing short, dark blond waves, Kendal knew why Lila was smiling like a kid in line at a carnival.

      Bret McCray had arrived in St. John’s. And he was looking right at Kendal.

      He grinned. He could still pull off that reddish scruff of facial hair. Dang. “Hello, Magic.”

      Oh, good. College nicknames. She smiled. “Hello, Bret.”

Yay! I love this one.

WITH ALL MY HEART: LOVE UNEXPECTED is available at the following websites, and at Deseret Books and Seagull Books stores. It's being pushed nationally (not LDS or inspirational themed) so I'll let you know where else it shows up.

Amazon

Deseret Book

In the meantime, how about a contest? I'm making this one simple. Everyone worked so hard for that last one! All you have to do is share, tweet, retweet, blog, pin, just POST this book and either link above. I already have a post to share on FB at Krista Lynne Jensen, and watch for a post to retweet on Twitter. Easy peasy!

Authors love to give these books away, but the way these contests help us the most is by spreading the word. Even if you plan on purchasing the book (thank you so much) a share will still help more than you know. And you could win a second book to give away yourself! Win Win!

Congratulations to the winner, Nikki Lewis! Thanks for playing, everyone!

And some other fantastic news: THE ORCHARD is a Whitney Award finalist in the Romance category! Thank you to those who nominated and voted! That was a delightful surprise.






And don't forget! My book launch is Saturday, February 22!

~Triple-the-Romance Book Launch~

DAY: Saturday, February 22

TIME: 11:00am-1:00pm

WHERE: Fort Union Deseret Books

Midvale, Utah

Commandments for Writers Series: #9

We have nearly completed our study of Sol Stein's Ten Commandments for Writers from his book, Stein on Writing. For those of you who have followed along, I hope it's been a help in becoming a more perceptive writer, or reader. I have learned a lot from his book... maybe nothing astounding or revolutionary, but certainly, Stein's views on what good writing is and what it accomplishes will push me to be better, to reach farther. His explanations are clear. His examples back up his theories. And he loves character. Which is why I really loved this book. Now, on to the next commandment.

9 Thou shalt not forget that dialogue is as a foreign tongue, a semblance of speech and not a record of it, a language in which directness diminishes and obliqueness sings.

I love dialogue. I love the possibilities it brings to the reader to be in the "now" of the story, learning by what characters are saying instead of what the narrator is describing. It brings the story to "real time" and gives the characters life. We learn so much from what a person says, the way they choose their words, the forms of speech they have grown up with. We learn what age they are, their level of education, the level of respect they have for others, for the things in their lives. We even learn what they are hiding if their words conflict with the inner thoughts we are privy to as readers.
Dialogue moves the story quickly, the reader able to move down the page at a clip. But what do we include in written dialogue? What do we leave out?
When I'm writing a first draft, I've noticed the sections of dialogue I hammer out are fairly all-inclusive. Particularly if it's a phone conversation. The greeting, the small talk, the ummm's, then the meat of the conversation, the purpose of the call, then the ummm's again, then the farewell. But it's a first draft and I'm in the zone and it's what I am seeing and hearing in my head, so it all gets thrown down.
When I edit, I choose only the essentials needed to take the conversation where it needed to go. The reader will assume the conversation started with niceties, and ended the same way. Stein says dialogue in a story is not as the precise recordings of a court reporter. Select what moves the story along. Make it resonate. Make it count.

*NOTE: Because THE ORCHARD is now under contract, I can no longer post excerpts from it as examples without written consent. But you can read the whole thing as soon as it comes out! Thank you for understanding!

Fruition

Every year my mother-in-law and I collect orders for peaches and pears, drive with our husbands to Idaho, rent a U-haul, and load it up with boxes of fresh, tasty fruit (as opposed to not-fresh, un-tasty fruit we can buy here in Wyoming for an arm and a leg). We drive home through Yellowstone and load up our garage. Then we wait for the happy faces to come get their orders. It's the best my garage smells all year.
Sometimes the numbers are a little off, and I get nervous about being able to fill everyone's order. After all, loading a truck full of crates, and then unloading half of them (185 peaches and 87 pears this year) at my house, there is bound to be a discrepancy here and there. But for the most part, with a little shuffling of boxes between my mother-in-law's house and mine, we work it out and everyone is happy.

Except, if I am short a box or two, I usually give my own order away. Last year I ordered 4 boxes of each. I think I was able to keep 1 1/2 boxes of peaches and 2 boxes of pears. My kids were sad.
This year, about 2/3 of the way through distributing the orders, I took a count, and guessed I would be able to keep all my pears, but only 1 box of peaches. I expressed my concern to my mother-in-law over the phone.
"You go and separate your order out right now. You set your boxes aside. Those are sacred. You did all the work, you get your fruit."
My mother-in-law holds nothing back. And it's great. I fret about making others unhappy, and she often puts things in perspective. I picked my boxes and set them aside. I even went ahead and canned 3 batches of ripening peaches, and still the worry of using my order before the rest had been picked up nagged at me. But I kept telling myself, "I did all the work, I get my fruit."
It turned out that my mother-in-law had a few cancellations, so the discrepancy was covered, and I can relax about everyone's orders, uncluding my own.

What does this have to do with writing?

When I was given revisions on THE ORCHARD, I was asked to hack off the last 30 pages. Literally, the story did end at that cut-off. I knew it. But there were a few tasty bits in those last 30 pages, and the setting for the new ending was not in the right place. I did as I was asked, and then wrote a short "tie-up" chapter for The End. I sent it back and the publishers were pleased. Good.

But...

Those few tasty bits tugged at me. The setting for that tie-up chapter was still not right. It should be THIS way, with THIS happening. The reader will want THIS.
I was given a chance, when I was assigned my own editor, to run through the story again. I made edits like changing awkward sentences, making clarifications, better wording, etc. I am still learning so much, every time I re-read I am able to see more ways to make the novel better. I love it. Then, I got to the final tie-up chapter.

Nope.

I returned to my original 30 pages, picked out my few tasty bits, re-distributed them where they fit smoothly into the story, and re-wrote the final scene, putting the characters where they needed to be, the right setting, giving them the right things to do.

I was so excited about that short little re-write, only a couple pages. But those few elements of the story, they were sacred to me. I did all the work. I get the fruit.

After all, the book is called THE ORCHARD.

In what ways are you "giving away your fruit"? Have you learned to compromise? Save the tasty bits?

Would A Novel, By Any Other Name, Smell as Sweet?

After I received the "alternate titles" request I mentioned in my previous post, I went to these ladies for a little help and found this.
As helpful as it is to be encouraged to relax about a title, to not stress so much over what your novel will be called because chances were never there for your title to stick in the first place, I still find myself checking my email every few hours, waiting on word from the title comittee, who ended their last email assuring me they will take everything into consideration, and hopefully would be able to pick a good one.

Aaak!

Do not get me wrong! I am still totally blown away by this chance... that editors are even calling me Krista and "part of the Covenant family" still makes my toes curl and I find myself smiling into space over all this opportunity.

But, I came up with seven, and then two more, titles to give them. I liked ONE of those. One. And I didn't like it better than the original. The others had me wincing, sticking my tongue out, shaking my head as I typed them into the email.
And I have a feeling this is something I am going to have to get over. Because the lovely people at Covenant know what they are doing, right? RIGHT? Of course they do (mantra chant). And I am guessing my suggestions aren't the only ones on the table.

And Annette Lyon is right. The story was great enough to catch the editor's eyes. They love my book. The title will come. And the next one, and the next one.
The Orchard... The Inn... The Lake... like that.

Right?

Here We go!

A request for 5-10 alternate titles? What? But... but it's called The Orchard. Umm, okay.
Think.
Think.
Think.
Read.
Think.

I knew this happens. I've read about it. Still, when the request is made of me, I am stunned. Scratching my head, I come up with seven ideas. Still like the original best. At least they ask me.
This is all very interesting. I'll let you know what happens next.

Shouting It!

It happened! It happened IT HAPPENED!!!  

"Congratulations! Today we officially accepted The Orchard for publication. It's a unique story that captured our imagination, and we love the way you crafted and developed both the plot and the characters. Your revisions were excellent, and we are pleased to be able to bring your book to the LDS market." 

It looks like The Orchard will be out for your reading enjoyment Spring/Summer 2011!!!!!!!!!!!! It's still sinking in. I jumped around too much after dinner. Side-ache. It's a good side-ache, though. I love the look on my husband's face. He totally loves this for me.

Thank you, Covenant Communications and the readers! Thank you, Kathryn Jenkins! I can't wait to meet my editor! My head is spinning... ahhhhhh!

I Chose This

A critic can only review the book he has read, not the one which the writer wrote.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

I have heard from the editors. They are ready to take The Orchard to the managing committee for final review. So, as per their request, I am making an itemized list of the revisions they asked me to make and how I addressed them, so they have the list there as they go through the book again.
The quote above is from a work titled, as you can see, The Neurotic's Notebook.

Mm-hmm, yep.
I think it's a good, nervous anxiety, though.
Back to work.

Chapter One

I have now posted all of chapter one of The Orchard, as it now reads. The publishers are still in the review process, but I thought I would get over a little fear and just post the entire chapter for you (are there three, or four of you?). Enjoy!
Click here, or at the link to the right. *NOTE: Because THE ORCHARD is now under contract, I cannot post the first chapter without the publisher's permission. I will post it again if permission is granted. SORRY!

I was able to spend a few days in Jackson, Wyoming, while my husband attended a conference there at the beginning of this week, and I was very anxious for two reasons. One, I hadn't been away from home without the kids for a very long time, so it was a nice retreat. Two, the sequel to The Orchard, The Inn, is situated in Jackson, at this very time of year. When I wrote it last year, I hadn't been there for several years. It was so fun to trace Elizabeth's steps and find out I was right on in some instances, a little off on some, and that I could add more detail and exactness to the setting. And it was nice and quiet in the mornings, before I hit the boardwalks of town, so I could sit in my hotel room and go back over The Inn, adding and fixing what I had discovered.
It rained. A lot. But I had already written that in my book, so it felt right.
Mountain weather.

Enjoy The Ride, Avoid The Wreck

Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a
great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
~William Safire, "Great Rules of Writing"


Writing a good story, or even a great one, is a kind of train ride: an adventure, an escape, with momentum and trudged hills and breathtaking descents, worrisome ledges and delicate bridges, some stops to refuel, passengers to board, some to depart, and some to throw off. Sometimes it is sad to reach your destination, sometimes it is a relief... but then the brakes squeal with effort, there is a tremendous lurch, and you are thrown into the re-write. The ride has been an effort of one kind, but now you must start at the beginning, and tear it apart, piece by piece, becoming a conductor instead of the engineer, making sure everyone has the proper tickets, seeing that the right compartments have been found, that safety precautions are met, that the ride is enjoyed as it is meant to be.
*I found this list of words to avoid. When writing that first draft, let 'em fly... then throw 'em from the train.


a little        almost        anyway       at the present time      began to       by means of         certainly       considering the fact that         definitely       even        exactly       fairly       in order to       in spite of the fact      in the event        is     was    were       just       perhaps       probably    proceeded to       owing to the fact       quite       rather      real       really      seem       slightly       so      some       somewhat      sort of       started to       such       that      the      usually      very      which

Using these words in narration draws the reader another step away from the story, pulls them out, reminds them of the author lurking behind the pages.  Of course, some of these words would be used by characters in dialogue... it is, after all, language. But, find some, and try to rework the sentence, the scene, with as few as possible.


Here is an example of an edit from The Orchard.

“Naughty Jane”, Alisen whispered and smiled wryly as she opened the door and let the cat into the long, narrow mudroom.  This was as far as the cat was allowed.  She purred around Alisen’s legs as she opened a cupboard and scooped out some food to place in a dish, and filled the water bowl from the utility sink.  She crouched down and rubbed Jane’s neck.  The purring grew a little louder.

“We should have named you Motor,” Alisen observed.

Now, edited. 

“Naughty Jane,” Alisen whispered and smiled wryly as she opened the door to the long, narrow mudroom, as far as the cat was allowed.  Purring rose around Alisen’s legs as she scooped cat food into a dish and filled the water bowl.  Alisen crouched down and rubbed Jane’s neck.  The purring grew louder.

“We should have named you Motor,” Alisen observed.

There are numerous ways this could be edited, but this is the combination I chose. The editors may have other ideas.
I wish they would let me know what they were.  


*10 Easy Steps To Strong Writing, by Linda George, The Writer, Jan 2004

A Portion Of My Cover Letter

The Orchard is a fictional romance set in the Flathead Valley of Montana, an area I know through summer vacations spent there. One of my favorite but lesser known novels, Jane Austen’s Persuasion, inspired the basic plot line, but my attempt is to tell the story behind Miss Austen’s characters, and adapt it to modern life, weaving elements of the gospel throughout.

The book is a romance novel and is intended for that audience of young adult and adult women, though my husband loves it, too.

Gospel elements in the book include missionary work, trials, sacrifice and attained blessings, choices, healing blessings, love, spirit and earthly family, prayer, and the influence of the Holy Ghost.

The first half of the book is written in answer to questions I asked myself about how the characters could have gotten themselves into the places they were when Jane Austen’s novel picks up. The reader does not need to be familiar with Persuasion to understand and appreciate The Orchard, though some subtle references are made with respect and a little humor. The second half of the book takes those characters and intertwines them into Miss Austen’s plot.

After the sudden death of her mother, Alisen Embry finds comfort and purpose working the cherry orchard adjoining her family's home on Flathead Lake. When she meets Derick, a boy with dreams and spirit, she realizes his answers fill a void in her life she did not know she had. Their connection is threatened by the prejudices of her father, and just when Alisen thinks she has found everything that could make her happy, she is given choices testing her love, and loyalty.

Derick Whitney is a compulsive returned missionary with his future mapped out, and beautiful Alisen quickly seals her place in those plans, and his heart, with her endless questions and obvious desire for the truth. But when his plans are ripped apart, he buries the whispers of wisdom and direction in bitterness and blame.

One letter and many decisions bring these two lost spirits to face the choices they have made, and learn that losing themselves may be the only way they find home.