Have you ever wondered how things would be if you'd chosen differently? Of course you have. Happy or sad, we wonder, "How would it have been?" One choice. One reaction. A turn left when a turn right was also before us.
I've been wondering about this a bit. How have my choices affected who I am today, and how would they have been different if I'd chosen differently? I like who I am today. I like me. But I'm very different from the woman I was twenty years ago, seven years ago, even four years ago. But I liked her, too.
Four years ago I began writing seriously. Twenty years after college and I found myself.
What if I'd found myself earlier? What if I'd had the support at home to go after a far-fetched dream? What about all those struggles, defeats, climbs, triumphs, disappointments between then and now? How would I have been molded to be who I need to be?
And I need to be.
So I guess it doesn't matter. What matters is moving forward. Learning, growing, knowing that giving up is not an option because a writer is what I need to be.
I always wondered, seeing people, friends around me knowing what they were to do, and I wondered, next to being a mother, when would I know what I was to do? Why didn't I know?
I'm so grateful. It's been four years. I can't imagine not doing this.
News: My next book, THE ORCHARD, is slated to come out March/April 2013. This is the FIRST one accepted by Covenant Comm, but will be my SECOND release. I'm so excited to see it again. I've missed it!
I just finished the first draft of the YA fantasy I've been working on titled SILK. It's out to alpha readers right now, so my stomach is a bit knotty. I look forward to the feedback, though, to make it better. I had so much fun and hair-pulling and hand-wringing and shouts of exclamation getting it down. I can't believe it's all down. I hope it's good. Even a little.
I also started a new on-line critique group with some other writers and I'm very excited about it! WordPlay is Becca Wilhite, Abel Keogh, Melanie Bennet Jacobson, Julie Wright, Kate Palmer, me, and sometimes, Marion Jensen. I feel very fortunate to have found these people needing exactly the same thing I did!
OF GRACE AND CHOCOLATE is still selling well for being out for almost a year. I love this little book! I still love seeing the cover. I still love hearing that readers love it and shared it and are still wanting me to sign it. I love the emails that come in thanking me for writing it. I have received several emails from readers who could relate to having a loved one with an addiction problem. It means a lot to me when they say, yes, that's how it feels. So go, little book. Go, Jill and Scott and Shiloh.
My daughter's wedding was beautiful and she and her new husband are settled and starting school. The other kids are back in school, as is my husband. The ruptured disc in my back is healing and though I still can't lift much of anything, I can do most things with much less pain and I'm thankful every day.
The writing comes in longer stretches now.