One Muppet to Rule Them All

*Sorry about the spacing glitches. I tried to make this cleaner, but Blogger is being stubborn.

Some of you know I love Twitter. I've met an amazing, funny, talented group of people there, most of them writers. So what better way to spend a cold, blustery June morning, than hanging with my favorite Tweeps?

It all started with this, a simple Tweet about an exchange between me and my husband:

KristaLJensen 

Me: I need to amp up my fantasyNO I'M NOT ASKING YOUR ADVICE. Hubs: Trolls. Giant Eagles. A magic ring. Muppets. #thisiswhyIdontask

Funny, right? My husband is so supportive. I'm laughing on the inside.

But then this happened:

KristaLJensen 

Okay now I'm obsessing about a Muppet LOTR, with Kermit as Frodo and Fozzie as Sam. Sam the Eagle is Saruman. Crazy Harry is Wormtongue.

And I got this:

johncleaver Dan Wells

And Sweetums as Gollum, because why not?

robisonwells 

I'd prefer Crazy Harry as Gollum, if only for the voice.

howardtayler 

Special Guest of the Week as Gandalf... might as well get Ian McKellen.

So I said this:

KristaLJensen 

That king prawn needs a part. Pippin, I think. "What about elevensies, okay?"

And I got this:

Brucewriting bruce eschler

Have you cast Boromir? May I suggest Bobo the Bear.

johncleaver Dan Wells

The Electric Mayhem excel at Lothlorien-style scenes: you show up, we sing and give you presents.

SandraTayler 

Don't make Beaker be Sauron. I like Beaker.

writerdc Donald J Carey

I'm thinking Sweetums as Gimli, because juxtaposition is very Muppet.

I asked others:

KristaLJensen 

And who would you propose as Gimli?

And got:

jaredgarrett 

Swedish Chef?

KristaLJensen Krista Lynne Jensen

BINGO! 

And much, much more!

Somewhere along the way, Dan Wells posted this:

johncleaver 

I prefer Lew Zealand as Legolas. And @KristaLJensen, I expect a full blog post on this. I'm trying very hard not to steal it.

So here we are.

This poster is awesome. 

So is this one.

Would you like to see the full casting for Krista Jensen's (sorta rhymes with Jim Henson's) Muppet Lord of the Rings? 

Of course you would.

(In no particular order)

Frodo: Kermit the Frog. Who else? It isn't easy being him.

Samwise: Fozzie Bear. Loyal, and comical. Important traits to have under duress. Not to mention, directionally challenged.

Gandalf: Ian McKellan. Because really, he is Gandalf.

Aragorn: Viggo Mortensen, because he makes me melt.

Elrond: Beaker. Noble. Straight. Mysterious (difficult to understand).

Haldir: Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Why would we break up this duo? Everyone knows Haldir is Elrond's go to guy.

Eowyn: Miss Piggy. There was some debate about this, but I'm sticking with it. You'll see why in a minute. And, she gets to kick some serious Nazgul tail.

Saruman: Gonzo. Can't you just picture his hands out, fingers all crooked, eyes rolling to the back of his head?

Wormtongue: Beauregard. Feckless, bumbling, loveable. What?

Gollum: Serious debating on this key character. Sweetums? Rizzo? I went with Crazy Harry. Rob's right. The voice and over all creepiness wins him the part. Plus, he already talks in third person.

Sauron: Sam the Eagle. We did some switching around for this part. Nailed it. We won't tell Sam he's the bad guy, just big government.

Pippin: Pepe the King Prawn. I love Pepe. I love Pippin. It's meant to be, okay?

Merry: Animal. This, I must say, is brilliance. With Miss Piggy as Eowyn, the tension between these two "friends" is bound to be riotous. "E-O-WYN . . . E-O-WYN . . ." I guarantee you Merry is going to be thrown off that horse.

Orcs: The Chickens. C'mon, Gonzo is Saruman. You had to see this coming.

Legolas: Lew Zealand. "Throw the arrow away, and it comes back to me."

Gimli: Swedish Chef. "Un de tu de three de four, four did urks yip yip yip."

Uruk-hai: The Rats. They're RATS. I'd be up on the table.

Witch Kings: Statler and Waldorf. Too obvious? I think not.

Boramir: Bean the Bunny. Wouldn't see that coming, would you?

Faramir: Bobo the Bear. Because everyone likes him, and he and Bean could seriously be brothers.

Denethor: Rizzo the Rat. Rizzo can do crazy. Can't you just see him eating and eating, while Pepe--er--Pippin sings him a Spanish--er-- Celtic love song? I see Oscar potential here.

Lothlorien Elves: Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. Rob and Dan agreed on this one. How could I not give it to them? Groovy. Like, fer sher, really.

Galadriel: My first choice would be Madeline Kahn. What she would have done with this part I can only imagine. I miss her. My next choice would be Kristen Chenowith. Or Patrick Warburton. Yeah, that's right.
Bilbo: Robin. Kermy's little nephew. The ring's going to be heavy for him, anyway.

Eomer: Scooter, because he has to go somewhere.

Theoden: Ralph the Dog. At his piano throne.

 And Arwen. Ah, Arwen, lovely and in love with Aragorn. This part goes to: 

Sweetums. 

Because this is my movie.

Please, post your comments and own ideas. You bow to no one.